Deer in Headlights

Well I embarresed my self in front of the whole school school today morning, yep… Defiantly a sign your day is going to go brilliantly. The start of my day can be described in one word; tired. I was up all night watching my guilty pleasure, Glee. So my mind was not working properly as its not been this whole year, I keep reading things wrong, I’m missing deadlines, and I’m just constantly screwing up everything that I touch. Basically I felt very crappy that morning. So our school doesn’t really allow phones but everyone brings them anyway and the teachers know but don’t really care. I didnt really find the point of bringing it in really but today I thought I would because I wanted to top up my phone in one of the shops on the way to school. Bad mistake. Yeah, I can see you know where this is going. So we have year assemblies that are basically the same all the time “Exams, be successfull, blah, blah, blah”, sometimes their okay but only on rare occasion’s, so yeah as we were going in, and my friend spotted that my skirt was inside out, thank god. I say that because I don’t think people had noticed yet but if I went throughout the day like that without knowing I think I would probably break my streak of “days gone without a panic attack”. But I was still embarresed, but I was trying to tell myself there’s a crowd everyone’s bunched together, its fine, nobody’s noticing you, you can change afterwards quickly and I started to chill finally as I was getting in my chair in the hall as it covered my skirt. I kinda drifted off for a minuite of two admiring my crush’s hand structure while simultaneously listening to a friend. Suddenly a loud high-pitched Chinese/Japanese song starts in my area, in this huge silent hall full of people. At first I didn’t realise, when I did however, honestly, I almost had a heart attack. I swear those 5-8 seconds of desperately  praying it wasn’t as loud as I thought and fumbling around in my pocket were the longest and most terrifying moments in my life. My phone alarm was going off… In assembly… With my whole year group… Wow… As my friend put it so eloquently “this mornin’ is just not going your way, is it?”. By some miracle, the teachers didn’t hear it. I don’t know, maybe the ones that did hear felt sorry for me or something, I don’t know but, my god , was I relieved. So I think only three tables heard it… A third of the school now knows I’m a weirdo and a joke . BUT GUYS, the rest of the day was not nearly as bad, and the day ended wonderfully with art and a proper conversation with my teacher (you have no idea how hard that is to find for me, I’ve only had a proper conversation with three people in my school //and by proper I guess a kind of mean an intelligent discussion, Β―Β°_o)/Β― I don’t know, I like them//).
So yeah it wasn’t terrible, and I’ve just had pizza that’s why the world doesn’t seem so bad rn…. Its really selfish in a way, your tummy full being all I care about. Goddamn it now I feel awefull, I have to go paint so I stop myself thinking as its not going to suddenly make the world perfect.
Night guys

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