Well, I’m officially growing up people. and i hate it… all this work into CVs and personal statements got me thinking when i was procrastinating the actual work that, im going to have serious people reading these… people are going to see me as an… adult…??? im going to get… a job maybe? ill soon be doing a serious course in university, with a part time job and perhaps living on my own. that is if i survive college. all this thoughts of jobs, university and everything, it feels so surreal and daunting. i mean ive always thought about the future alot, college and everything. i knew what was coming, id planned out everything since i was a child, because obviously what better way is there to spend an afternoon for a 7 year old girl. but seriously i feel like this is the first time its really dawning on me that its finally fast approaching, no longer a dream… and Im not ready. i didn’t expect this to come so early, well maybe i did but it was more a a ‘tomorrow’ kind of early. tomorrow is always right around the bend yet it never arrives. tomorrow will no longer be tomorrow when it comes. it only exists as a concept, an idea. i just feel truly vulnerable now and at the risk of being seen as an utter coward, ill still be honest, its terrifying the crap out of me.