first off, this picture has no relevance to anything here and i didnt take the photo but i like how my posts look with pictures
free, im free, dobby is finally free… well for a week at least and even though its only been two days ive already gone and embarresed myself. Well i guess i wouldnt say it was embarresting rather more awkward and unplanned and well i dont react very well to things i have not planned for. My brain just goes ‘i CaNT’t deal with ThIs, error error social cue not found, panic, panic, panic, PANIC!!!’ and everything just goes haywire in my brain, theres distant screaming, theres fire everywhere and theres just cats everywhere, completely in their element, thriving. i mean it wouldnt be my brain if there wasnt some cats, anyway verry off topic I’ll just get into my little story now, its not going to sound too dramatic as i write it down but trust me, it felt like i was in a fucking james bond movie at the time with the theme song and unnessicery action scenes, dramatisization and everything…i met a classmate…outside of school.
I may have had a mini heart attack as the worse thing was they were working in my faviorate subway, so i had to order from the guy, and you would think i’d just order and be on my way right? no more worries, we’re not that great friends we can both just go our seperate ways and i can stuff my face in peace. wroooooooong, oh no we’ve got to start a conversation, talking about coincidence and then he goes and jokingly refuses me my burger. Boy, do you really think my lunchtime is a joke? but now i cant concentrate on my food ive got to put all of my energy into coming up with a way this wont end awkwardly, and all that peacefull energy i had stored while walking here? gone, its flown away. just like the fucks i gave about trying to come up with something to say. And so i inevitably suddenly find the signs around me incredibly interesting, i mean would you look at how generous this £500 giveaway is or something or other on this crisp. honestly now i get what people mean in books when they talk about two minuites being the longest in their lives now. i normally im able to excuse myself to the bathroom to come up with a battleplan but there was no getting out of this one, i had to endure it and i just hope he doesnt mention it at school tbh.
so that was terrible, thankfully the day wasnt over, i was still going to the local store to buy a book and some art stuff and id be calm and happy again… NOPE. guess what? i had to go bump into another guy. fantastic,brilliant, absolutely supurb… hope you can read the sarcasm there because there isnt a font for that unfortunatly. but i didnt have to talk with them this time, just skillfully avoid. and since we were walking the same way i suddenly decided i needed some more excercise anyway and went the long way. yay!
but yes to sumerise im a mess. and i swear to god, i will be more social and able to not be socially awkward hopefully in the future. i am going to go to college afterall and im figuring ill either blossom there or wither like a slug under salt. oh, im sorry, that was an unnessicarily horrifc visual image, ugh no, why i am so sorry.
I mean its rare enough i go outside for any reason anyways, but when i do you can bet that its not going to be peaceful. Because people. im kidding of course, people are cool and nice but that doesnt stop me from hating them from time to time because im still a child and cant deal with things.
I kinda feel bad now talking badly about this person, but its not really that i dont like them, its literally me thats the problem i need to teach my brain to process social situations correctly and yeah, that was what happened on my quest to the outside world. yes i would say the second time seeing the sun was definatly better than the first. okay, okay i need to go and study and finish the book i brought now. i may give a reveiw as i have many opinions. okay Night Guys, Byee