Well my GCSEs are finally OVERRR, and the holidays are ready to roll in and punch me in the gut with procrastination, lonliness and sleepless nights. Yay! No really i am happy about the holidays, its just what to do when they arrive that stumps me and by the end i really regret how i used my time. like theres so much time to spend and i have no idea what to do with it.
Hopefully i get some writing done, and maybe finish at least one peice of artwork by the end. Fortunatly for me 4 weeks of my holidays have already been decided for me because around auguest im going to this thing called NCS where they take in kids from 16-18 probably to take them away to some forest or something i not quiet sure… you know when i say it like that it sounds really creepy and suspicious… Yeah but no its fine hopefully if i dont fall off a cliff or get lost because im useless, they’re going toteach us camping and cool survival stuff with loads of other young people and just help us be more independant but learn how to work in a team. i really afraid that im either not going to participate or im going to just boss everyone around because im not really the best at working as a team. i just get really frustrated when i see something done inefficiantly and i just have to step in to show them how its done and of course people rightly take that with amounts of indignation and annoyance. I do want to learn how to better myself and be more social and work well with others and i hope that this trip will help me do that.
The trip is causing me to freak out ever so slightly because well it it my first proper time ill be away from home and ill just be meeting up with randome starngers ive never met and be expcepted to socialize and you can see why that would not sound like the best idea in the world for me. Youve all probaby heard the phrase ‘get out of your comfort zone’ but im always outside my comfort zone and doing this actually feels like trying to leap a canyon. So im trying to both mentally and physically prepare myself to the best of my ability by first signing up for the gym the month before which is july and get my lazy butt out of bed and also going outside a bit more maybe just simply to the shops and getting a subway to be more comfortable about … well… people. to put it normally:
Yeah its silly but i hope itll work, but for now i should get some sleep and fix my sleep schedule.