yes, yes i hear all the groans already i just want to compare this site and tumblr. i do have an account there yes, but only because i do read alot and fictional characters/ words were my first ‘love’ you could say, and obviously when i found a community that felt the same i felt like i belonged. and most of them had tumblrs, so i joined only hearing good things about it. yeah its not bad, but good lord is it a shit-storm once you look underneath the rug. its just all very intense, from the very layout of the website, to the people. now theirs nothing particularly wrong with that but sometimes its exhausting, and when it goes too far, my god they dont just take steps, they leap. one small mistake, your tainted as a useless bug forever. its kind of sad seeing how quickly this place that had brought so much joy to them, becomes a hell of continuous anon hate. here its much more… chill is the only word to use for it. Serene and calming almost. i mean it kinda still has that social justice and equality vibe but a more reasoned and less aggressive. it feels like here you aim to educate and not put down because someone is not. i hope im not wrong. i really like this site so far, it feels almost like an online journal. i still use tumblr, but i dont have anything of my own posted on it. its mainly just an entertainment site for me now. i know its silly, and putting my thoughts out there is just a useless shout into the thick vortex that is the internet, but i made this blog on the intention i would make this for me, anything i need to get out will be here and some some memories i might want to look back on. i really dont want to be a blogger looking to be famous or anything silly like that, and i hope stuff like follower numbers wont bring me down. But yeah, this blog feels well and truly mine, my own personal shout into the void
This is just me writing about my happy day, its not going to be funny or interesting unfortunatly, just a little warning for you. Well, I was going to post this descriptive piece of writing I’d written, but overlooking it now I think it needs a bit more work. Now I was a bit unrationally mad yesterday, I apologise. But it feels as if today more than makes up for yesterday though, as it was pretty good. I managed to sort out that Evaluation and only have a para left that I’ll do early in the morning then give it in. You know those moments where you just look back on every mistake you’ve and just cringe eternally? Well today I have one less cringe moment as the person who its about, seems like he doesn’t hate me after all! this person is pretty awesome, and hes just like one of those cuddly nice people, you know? but unfortunately I tend to… Malfunction whenever I’m around awesome people. Yeah he said hello, and I froze because of the amount of people there (we were waiting for a late teacher) and said nothing so it looked to everyone there that I just blatantly ignored him. I felt awefull, honestly if my social anxiety was a person I would give it a well earned slap. So yeah from that point onwards that just replayed in my head over and over and over, but thankfully a makeshift conversation between us put a stop to my stupid worry. Also I got full marks on my Listening & Speaking 😀 I’m actually so happy, I thought I completely fluked it as i mumble constantly and I probably can’t pronounce half the words in the English language but I got through! Speaking of that, people seem to think I speak very posh… Ok I don’t speak like some wanna be gangster chav, but that doesn’t mean I’m ‘posh’… Maybe its because of my slight american accent? I don’t know.
But yes, today was a good day and I’ve just finished three cheese sandwiches. So I’m going to bed happy right after I finish painting my wall (yeah I got tired of the boring white, so I’m painting something else on it in different coloured paint)
PS- if anyone is reading, any advice on how to improve my language or communication skills here would be really awesome
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Wow, this year defiantly felt like it was going to be packed and it did not disappoint. All these awesome marvel and Disney movies coming out (yes I’m a huge marvel geek and yes, I am the only adult you saw waiting line for Finding Dory), leap year, Olympics and on the more depressing side, the death of a beloved actor (Alan Rickman) , rock star (David Bowie) and author (Harper Lee). But aside from those universal things everyone is experiencing, personally its also GCSE year, the year that’s going to determine which way my entire life will go from here on out… No pressure or anything. Also the year which I feel the most unravelled emotionally and accually have feelings??? Why is it that the most academically important year of your life is also the year your riddled with hormones and are really starting to discover who you are. Good thing about this year is that I feel the most mentally healthy than in a long time, I still suffer from social anxiety but by no means to the extent of which I used to. I really hate cliches but I have to say it- I really want this to be my year. I’ve always thought that was a weird kind of phrase, like what do you actually mean? But yeah I guess I just want this to be a memorable year, hopefully happy one with lots of “adventures” and hopefully productivity. I dont know (heads up, that phrase is going to around alot). I’m just feeling a lil odd these days, kinda emotional which is a surprise because I’m really not an emotional at all, I mean I’m not a robot or like a offensive Sheldon cooper kind of person, I understand social conventions and how people felt I just was very numb of my own. To be honest I don’t really care about my own feelings, because honestly I’m very lucky in terms of the world and others really are more in need of attention than me, I don’t need it. Yep I’m going on a rant now, where was this supposed to go its an absolute mess this should be in the rant catogary… No I’m making a new catogary
PS- sorry this is so un organised and just a general mess, I’ll get better